Sassy Radish

I have been reading these memes online and felt compelled to do one, if only because I feel guilty about not having as much time to cook as I used to when I was a woman of leisure. I mean, I roasted beets a few nights ago, but by the time they were done, it became a dish to be made for the day after. And while roasting the beets, I started thinking about how beets are the unloved child of the earth. I can eat them every day, but few share my sentiment. Even my father, who spent most of his life in Russia, hates beets. But not I. So here is a collection of odd, quirky eating habits that I’ve accumulated over time.

1. As a child, one of my favorite things to eat was crushed garlic spread over a thick slice of dark Russian bread with butter, and dill, heavily salted. I didn’t even remember such an affectation, until I read about it on Orangette – her fiance apparently did the same thing awhile back. Upon hearing about my “garlic period”, BF snickered, “This must have made you tremendously popular with kids.” Heh.

2. I confuse “over easy” and “sunny side up” all the time. Hence I mess up my egg orders all the time.

3. There are food things that I can’t grow to love, no matter the recipe no matter the make: chick peas and its derivatives like hummus. I’ve made it from scratch, I’ve gotten it as Sahadi’s, I’ve tried everything and I still don’t care for it. Other things I don’t tend to care for: fennel, pork chops, cooked tuna, swordfish, most store-bought cake, Brazilian cuisine as well as most South American food including Cuban (though I know it’s not South American). I adore Mexican food and will anything that combines tomatoes, cilantro, onions and melted cheese. I can restrain myself from most starches other than potatoes – it must be a Russian thing, but potatoes are just sublime.

4. I became a devotee of Martha Stewart Living and its creator at the tender age of 14. I don’t care if she’s a tyrant, or that she went to jail for insider trading. I just want to be able to reupholster furniture and make perfect cookies and cakes just like her!

5. I find milk chocolate revolting and haven’t bought a Hershey/Nestle made good in over 2 years, excluding Twix, for which I have an inexplicable love. Must be the caramel. I also cringe at the thought of Oreos – the white questionable filling with ingredients I cannot pronounce scares me half to death. Finally, I find most chocolate chip cookies a bit too heavy on the chocolate chips and a little too light on the doughy part.

6. Even though I spent 7 years as a die-hard vegetarian, what brought me back was barbecue, quickly followed by thick, artisanal bacon. And while I can happily pass up meat any given day, if it’s slathered in barbeque sauce and has been slow-cooked over half a day, I feel my resolve weaken. Ditto for anything that’s been braised. Or slow-roasted. If the meat is falling off the bone, I’m going to order it. Period. End of story.

7. Even though I seem to eat everything, I am extremely picky when it comes to method, preparation and presentation, which renders me a bit of a tyrant in the kitchen. I’ve been dubbed as the Turkey Dictator and I was threatened with an appropriately themed t-shirt. I will wear my title with pride and continue to insist that my turkey cooking methods should be followed.

I have recipe posts in the making – it’s just been a really busy week at work. I’m also trying to buy a pasta maker this weekend – Bowery Kitchen Supply calls to me, and who am I not to answer that call?