Sassy Radish

and I’ll never ever baste again, guilty feet have got no rhythm…

So what if this above line makes no sense?

Turkeys and Thanksgiving. It’s probably the most important decision dinner-wise you can make on this holiday. Probably why cooks everywhere agonize and lose sleep on where they can get the best turkey available to them. Unless of course you’re Raymond’s wife and decide to cook a bass instead of turkey for Thanksgiving (which is crazy, by the way). Across America, those cooking the feast are willing to go to any lengths, financial and emotional, to procure the turkey of their dreams. I’ve known people to dance in order to get their coveted turkey. I’ve know them to bribe their butchers and place orders in August. I’ve seen many an argument on whether one should go organic or kosher or just regular; and whether one should or should not baste the turkey while it’s cooking. No argument is more ardent (turkey-related) or more heated than the age old dilemma – to baste or not to baste.

First things first. I am adamant about my turkey-selection process. Years of cooking these birds have given me a certain insight into my methods, processes and the end result. For me, it’s kosher or bust. It’s not that I keep kosher (I’ll wax romantic on bacon some day on this site). It’s that kosher turkeys come pre-brined, so you don’t have to do the messy deed. Brining the turkey traps the moisture inside and makes the turkey juicy and tender. Not dry and flaky. You know the turkey you want to have? The way it’s supposed to taste? Well, you can have it and you can taste it too. In real life, and not just in your dreams.

Yes, organic is nice too. Free range is fantastic. And who can go wrong with a heritage turkey? But for my money (and tastebuds) the kosher turkey takes the top honors. And this is what I’m cooking this upcoming Thursday.

Now, the basting argument. After multiple recipes and tons of experiments, I have to say that I’ve gone to the dark side. And here is my confession.

I am not a baster.

In fact, I religiously follow the instructions according to Alton Brown’s article, who argues that basting is evil, and my turkey comes out perfect every time. And while I think I can hold my own in the kitchen, I’m no Thomas Keller. But Alton’s directions work, beautifully too! You get a moist, juicy, delicious turkey and you don’t have to even baste it.

The reason basting does work, Brown explains, is that the process is similar to sun-bathing by the pool. A quick dip makes you tan faster, but also dries out and burns your skin. And since skin responds to moisture and heat the same on both turkeys and humans, basting actually dries the turkey out. Hence – evil.

I know I know – your mother and grandmother are growing pale at the sound of this. No basting? But basting is key! Basting is the way to go! Basting is (here it comes)… TRADITION!!! All true, but look, it was a tradition to put butter on burns (in the olden days) and now look at what we know about butter and burns – baaaad.

Try the Alton Brown method. Give it a go. If you’re too afraid to mess with the tried-n-true on the holiday where more people get into fights about what they’re having (creatures of habit we are), try it some other time. But do give it a shot and you’ll be amazed and surprised at your results. It’ll transpose you from feeling like a home chef to a professional one. When you cut into the breast and see the juices running and then taste the meat – you won’t even believe you’re eating white meat – traditionally a flavoress, dry and boring piece of the bird.